Living Simply: Determining What We Need

When I was a kid, I would go to my mother around dinnertime and whine “Mom, when’s supper? I’m starving!” This was, without fail, met with a reminder that I have never been “starving” in my entire life. (You know you can relate!)

Even as an adult, I find myself using hyperbolic language. One of the words I tend to abuse the most is “need.” “I need a new swimsuit.” “We need a new blender.” “I need a better computer bag.” It’s been said that necessity is the mother of invention. When did necessity become the mother of consumerism?

While some things in my life are genuine necessities, I’m beginning to see that too many things I consider to be necessary in my life really aren’t. Should I own a comb? Absolutely. Do I need three hairbrushes, a comb set, a hair dryer, a straightener, a curling iron, $200 worth of product, and a basket full of clips, bows, and headbands? Nope. None of those things are bad. Owning all of those things is perfectly fine. But they aren’t necessities. The same goes for clothing, kitchen appliances, furniture, and even technology.

As I downsize my life and re-prioritize, I’m trying to distinguish what I actually need from what I only want.

And for the record, I really, really want a new computer bag.

The Attitude-Behavior Gap, Part One

Photo credit: Mitch Tobin

Whew, this is going to be a big one.

I’ve procrastinated putting up this series for a long time. I’ll be honest, I’m a little concerned about alienating people with this one. I’ll cover some basic observable bits, but when I get into the philosophizing (as you all know I am prone to do), please toss a grain or two of salt on my words. I’d love to not lose any friends over the next few posts! 🙂

Firstly, what is the attitude-behavior gap?

Sometimes referred to as the value-action gap, the attitude-behavior gap is the space in between how people would like to live and how people actually behave. For example, ask a group of random strangers on the street if they think exercise is essential to a healthy lifestyle, and I suspect every one of them will say yes. Ask that same group of people how many of them actually exercise on a regular basis, and you may find that only four out of ten of them have a workout plan in place. The difference between the two numbers is the attitude-behavior gap.

There are several theories regarding why this gap exists. I’ll talk about some of the more popular theories, and toss out a couple of my own.

One of the most popular reasons for the gap is ignorance. I’m not trying to be offensive here. I’m referring to ignorance in its most basic form: for example, a person who has never heard of the city of Blue Springs, MO can hardly be expected to know anything about its demographics, its economics, or its politics. That person is ignorant about Blue Springs. Unless this person actually lives in Blue Springs, they can’t really be faulted for this ignorance. BUT, if the person decided they wanted to move to Blue Springs and create a politically-driven organization there, they would need to become educated about the city in order to be effective.

In this way, if a person has ideals (attitudes, values) but no education about those ideals, the change (behavior, action) will not occur. So without a doubt, a lack of education can be a big contributor to the gap. If a consumer has no idea whether or not their favorite products are being produced ethically, how can they make informed decisions about their spending?

Education is a relatively easy problem to tackle. With social media and digital communication so prevalent in our world, raising awareness is a fairly simply process. But what do people do with the information they receive? Unfortunately, the availability of education often isn’t enough.

Another popular theory about the cause of the gap is fear of change. Simply put, people don’t like to change. Familiar brands are comfortable, frequented stores are homey, and there are very few surprises in store from a product bought for years. This one goes hand-in-hand with the belief that there are few to no options. This is the trap that says “if I can’t do it this way/buy this item/think this way, I can’t at all.”

And lastly (for my series) people don’t really believe that their actions can cause positive change. This one almost speaks for itself. People don’t boycott because they believe that their $10 won’t make a difference (many people don’t donate to good causes for the same reason, incidentally). People don’t believe that their signature on a petition or their vote on a ballot will have any impact.

So with these popular thoughts on the reason behind the attitude-behavior gap, I present to you my new series. Stay tuned as we address these big concepts and I attempt to maintain my sanity and preserve my friendships!

Don’t forget to hit the follow button!

Living Simply – How to Downsize

Okay, I’ve done a little philosophizing and more than a lot of picture taking, but now I’m going to get back to how-tos for a minute.

The first step of Living Simply for many people is addressing the amount of stuff they own. Possessions are one of the biggest pitfalls, and one of the easiest categories to excuse. And since I’ve been working through this process anyway, I thought it might be helpful to talk about surviving the purge. Here are a few easy tricks to get you on the path to a smaller inventory!

Only purchase multifunctional items.

There is no problem that this awesome tool cannot solve. Need a haircut? This can handle it. Evil puppet chasing you? No problem!

Look for items that work on more than one level. This could be a picture frame with an attached clock, a pair of boots that look good with both summer and winter outfits, or a pack of mason jars to use as drinking glasses (when you aren’t storing things in them, of course). Combining items in this way is a simple step toward owning less.

Only purchase things that you truly love.

I like to imagine this coat is bigger on the inside.

It’s an unfortunate fact that most of the clutter I’ve tossed in the last year has been comprised of items I purchased because they struck my fancy at the time, but not because I loved them. When I began to clean out my closet, I found bags upon bags of clothes that were adorable, flattering, and almost never worn. I came to the realization that I wore and re-wore and washed and wore again only a handful of articles of clothing. When I ditched the rest and just stuck with those few favorites, I hardly noticed.

Learn to give away your stuff.

It’s okay – they’re all the same book. I have two more copies on my shelf.

Some of us get a very real high from shopping. Wandering through stores and picking out new things to take home can be so therapeutic. But do you know what else I’ve found is a real rush? Giving stuff away. Seriously. One day, a friend of mine told me she liked the sweater hanging in my closet. Without really thinking about it, I took the sweater down and gave it to her. Honestly, I have never once regretted that. I loved that sweater, but I loved the look on her face even more. A couple of weeks later, my husband and I were thrilled to donate almost our entire book library (gasp!) to a newlywed couple. It’s so much easier to downsize when I know that my belongings are going to people who will love and use them.

Make and stick to a budget.

Seriously, how many of us actually use the % button on a regular basis?

Okay, I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but chances are if you doubt this step’s effectiveness, you probably haven’t tried it properly. Something about having to see the impact of shopping on my bank account week after week made a big difference on my spending habits. Start by writing down the dollar amount you spend after every shopping trip. Keep a running total and see how you feel after a month or two. The total amount, as opposed to several small totals, may not feel so great.

Take baby steps.

Just be sure to do it with style! Like the press is watching. All the time.

Determining to downsize your entire house is an admirable goal, but few can attempt such a drastic change and keep their sanity intact. Start with a single room or area of your living space, like the bedroom. Too big? Narrow it down to a particular category, such as clothing. Still too daunting? Narrow it down further and only work on your collection of shoes. If that’s still too difficult (for me, shoes were a very advanced-level minimalist sort of thing), switch to something to which you have less emotional attachment, like socks. The high of downsizing even just your sock drawer can give you the momentum to tackle the bigger things.

Set goals.

Okay, seriously. Red marker from a pencil? Now they aren’t even trying.

Mark your calendar with dates for your downsizing. Determine how long you think it will reasonably take to tackle each room of your home, and set up a plan. Keep in mind that just throwing things away can easily lead to backsliding. Give yourself  enough time to go through the entire process, from assessing what you actually need, to selecting only what you love most, to weeding out the sentimental items. And don’t forget to celebrate when you hit your goals! (Just don’t celebrate at the mall…)

Maintain.

Is it a paradox to write about downsizing and covet these shoes at the same time?

One of the biggest mistakes new downsizing champions make is backsliding. Doesn’t it sometimes feel like only a week goes by before the house starts to look like spring cleaning never happened? This is the same idea. To combat further accumulation, I implemented the hard-and-fast rule of “one in, one out.” This means that if I buy something new, something old from that same category has to go. In this way, I always stay at the same number of shoes, the same number of pots in the kitchen, the same number of hair bows. How’s that for manageable?

Oh, and if you didn’t get to track my process through my closet, check out my Minimalist Wardrobe Challenge series, and hit the follow button for more updates and I continue the journey toward a simple life!

Life Rules #7

Smile.

Smiling is good for your outlook, but it’s also good for you physically. Using the muscles associated with smiling manipulates your brain into thinking you’re happy, which in turn causes the release of endorphins. Or so I’ve heard. I do know for sure that it works. Next time a stressful situation hits, try it out.

Life Rules: #5

Be intentional

Life is precious, valuable, and most of all, short. Live intentionally and purposefully. Work toward a goal, chase a dream, focus on things that last.

Life Rules: #4

Only speak what you want to be true.

 

Words are powerful. Never speak (or write) what you fear. Speak only of your dreams, often and loudly. Make your lips the gatehouse – only positivity goes out from them.

Life Rules: #3

Let the tide come in.

Everybody hits their braking point eventually. The pressure becomes too much and you can’t maintain it all anymore. The fact is, the dam will break whether or not you fight it, so stop fighting. Let the tide come in, and you’ll survive to see it go back out afterward.

Life Rules: #2

Forgive Yourself

 

Everybody screws up. Not just once, or occasionally, but regularly, and often. For every good and productive thing we achieve, we fail in something else. Stop trying to change that. Our failures make us who we are every bit as much as our successes. Forgive yourself your shortcomings. Shoot for excellence, but not perfection. Be happy.

Life Rules: #1

Always run downhill.

We often find ourselves completely overwhelmed by life. Deadlines need to be met, laundry washed, dishes cleaned, homework finished, friends hugged, children bathed, spouses dated, blog posts written. But once in a while, we hit a lull. A time of peace. A break. Whether it’s a vacation week, or a free hour after lunch, use it. Find what you need most, and chase it. If that’s rest, rest. If it’s socialization, socialize. If it’s fitness, work out. Whatever. When the uphill of life ends and the easy downhill approaches, make the most of it. Run.